Dear fellow blog readers, Last year, my marriage of two years crashed because my wife, Lydia was not straight forward with me when it comes to money and financial matters in our marriage. When I met Lydia about four years ago,she was working with a manufacturing company while I worked with a one man business as a marketing officer. Lydia was earning more than me at the time and frankly speaking,I never saw that as a hindrance. We got married two years after dating. That was when I started noticing the change in Lydia’s character when it comes to money issues. Unfortunately,like a year and half after we got married,my company was not doing too well hence they were late in paying our salaries for several months. While I dated Lydia,I tried my best to provide all it took to woo her. In the first year of our marriage,I noticed that she would always ask me for money to buy everything she needs in the house even though she was earning higher than me. I used to ask her why she does not contribute to the welfare of the house and she would reply me that her money is her money and my money is ours. That she is training her younger ones and sending money to her parents every month. Well, I did not bother too much,I tried to do what I could. However,in the second year of our marriage,when I started having financial difficulties,I couldn’t meet up with most of the responsibilities. That was when Lydia became something else. She would complain and rain insults on me for not giving her money for cooking or other up keep reasons. I used to explain to her that I didn’t have enough as before. She refused to understand and instead complained more. One time,our house rent was due,I asked her to borrow me some money to make up for the house rent but she refused saying that she had borrowed money from her place of work to augment some of the house keeping expenses she made. Anyway,our landlord gave us quite notice and we had to move into a one bedroom apartment from our three bedroom apartment.
A few months later. I ran into a friend of my wife’s family who has been like a family friend too. We met actually in a bus and we got talking,catching up during the bus ride. As we spoke,we talked about family life and he congratulated me on our house that we were building that was almost near completion.
I was stunned!. I asked him: ”what do you mean by our house”?. He responded that he was happy for us that we were almost completing the building of our house in Omole phase 2. I told him,I didn’t know what he was talking about. He obviously realized that he had said something I didn’t know about,he then asked me to speak to my wife. I pressed him further but he said he may have said too much.
When I got home,I asked my wife what the family friend said by congratulating us on the building of our house. She looked shocked but said she does not know what that meant. I asked her if she was building a house,she said no. I then told her I was going to call her father but she insisted I shouldn’t. I did anyway. She grabbed the phone from me and said she got a piece of land that she got very cheap and that she was developing it. She said she wanted to surprise me.
Surprise,indeed I was!…I couldn’t believe what my wife said. She was building a house right under my nose and I didn’t know? The house was near completion? . I told asked her what else was she hiding,she said nothing. I was angry, that I asked her to pack her things and leave my house. I couldn’t believe this lady who always complained that she didn’t have money would do this to me. I lost trust for her.
Surprisingly again,Lydia packed out of the house without making an effort to beg or stay. I was dumbfounded. When I went to see her family a week later,I was told that Lydia had made up her mind to leave the marriage as I was not taking good care of her. They didn’t even look at the fact that Lydia was keeping a huge secret from me.
As I write this, I am still dumbfounded. What kind of woman I ended up with. And where exactly where did I go wrong?
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