Moving in with your partner is a big decision to make. It’s not the kind of decision you want to rush into just because you’re in love.
The following are 6 reasons why moving in with your partner right now might not be such a good idea.
1. Men And Women Have Very Different Ideas About What Living Together Means
Women typically see it as an almost inevitable step toward marriage, while men see it as a no-obligation test drive. Couples who initiate a live-in relationship under the fog of such contradictory assumptions are already in trouble.
2. Living Together Means That A Man Doesn’t Have To Pursue His Girlfriend Any Longer
And if something is too easily acquired, it just doesn’t hold the same value as something that is more challenging to get. A lot of men become apathetic about their partner, and this is more true with couples who are either co-habiting or who lived together before sliding into marriage.
You often hear phases like, Well, we’re not married so it doesn’t really matter, or I just married her because she wouldn’t shut up about it, or I only proposed because everyone expected me to. Their lack of enthusiasm and passion toward their partner is as depressing as it is discouraging.
3. It Removes A Man’s Motivation To Make The Formal Commitment Of Marriage
Living together often causes women to feel frustrated and get stuck in a cycle of hope and disappointment. Christmas comes and she hopes for a ring, only to be disappointed. Her birthday comes and she hopes for a ring, only to be disappointed.
Her sister gets married and she hopes for a ring, only to be disappointed. You get the idea. Even worse, this cycle often leads to ultimatums, marry me or it’s over! which, in turn, can lead to a reluctant and passionless groom.
4. Couples Who Live Together Are Less Likely To Get Married
Why? well Co-habiting couples tend to have a more lax attitude toward commitment and don’t work as hard to stay together. When their relationship goes through a rough spot as all relationships do it is all too easy to just walk away.
The legal and public commitment of marriage motivates couples to work through conflict, strengthen the relationship and stay together.
5. It Is Not A Reliable Way To Predict Long-Term Compatibility Or Marital Success
In fact, couples who live together before marriage divorce at higher rates. There are other ways to set yourself up for a happy, healthy marriage.
Serious dating allows two people to get to know each other as loving friends and determine whether they have a reasonable chance of being a faithful, respectful and cooperative couple with shared values and vision.
Spending time at a boyfriend or girlfriend’s house will reveal many personal habits and quirks, while a practical pre-marital class that teaches communication, interpersonal and life skills can give couples the tools they need to help avoid common problems and resolve those conflicts that will invariably arise.
6. Living Together Takes The Excitement Out Of Being Newlyweds
Being a new bride and moving in with your husband to start a life and perhaps a family with those shiny new rings on your fingers to show the world your commitment, is a wonderful experience that many women still hope for.
Many, many couples still live happily ever after after marriage, and you can, too. You just need to know where you want to go in life, and what choices are most likely to get you there.
Credit: Fola Sean
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