Random Short Jokes Of The Day (Version 5)

3 Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily – You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily – You will die 30 years early.
Love Someone Truly – You will die daily.

A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Three FASTEST means of Communication:
Tele-Phone
Tele-Vision
Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because it would be unfair, he is ALONE and we are FOUR

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY TO GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.