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Saturday, 22 July 2017

Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba – Episode 11

As the bus moved on i was thinking of a way to start up a conversation with this black princess. “Am Flow, am a citizen of Italy, and u are? i said smiling and revealing my beautiful set of teeth. she laughed and said “Mr Flow from Italy, What are you doing in Nigeria as a corper when you should be in Italy?”, staring and smiling back at me. ” i don catch this one oh”, i said to myself. we were involved in an healthy chat as she later told me her name was Juliet. she also told me where she was posted to as we shared our camp experiences, she told me she schooled in the east and that she studied Economics.

As we continued in the rather long Journey, i suddenly felt air coming out of my an*us silently. “make dis mess no smell oh” i said to myself “even if e smell sef nobody go know say na me mess am na” i assured myself, the f*art was smelling as if a rat died in the bus. “oboy dis mess go put me for wahala oh” i said to myself as i noticed Juliet looking at my direction. “abi dis girl don know say na me mess?” i asked myself as a boy in front said “e no go better for d person way mess dis mess” “na ur papa e no go beta for” i responded in my mind. “uhun uhun uhun” was d noise around “uhun uhun uhun” i joined them so as not to arose suspicion. All the windows were open but d smell still form a cloud in the bus. “My belle don spoil don spoil oh” “but wetin i chop na” “ok na that boiled egg wey me and Ayo chop for mammy dis morning” “but how e take spoil my belle na, and na only 3 in chop oh” all these were wat i tot as the odour subsided.

We got to Winners Chapel Ilesa at about 6pm. The church ministers welcomed us and took us to a “boys quaters” behind the church after assuring us that we would be taken care of, and that anything we needed we should ask. “Ask ehn, what of if i need weed, i go ask” i tot. “but Flow oh, u gat to behave urself oh, here na church oh” i told myself. I noticed Juliet was the only girl amongst us, so she was given a seperate roon while the rest of us, 10 in number shared two rooms. They was church service that nite, as i slept all through as the preacher preached. We got to our room by 9pm. After we ate, Juliet told me that she could not sleep in that her scary room alone. “see wahala oh” “wetin dis girl want make i do na” “if i go follow am sleep, pastors fit see me com pursue me comot for church oh” “if dem pursue me, where i go stay, wetin i go chop” all this tots fill my brain. So i went along with Juliet to tell the pastor that Juliet was scared of her room. The pastor told me to sleep in the same room with her as by so doing Juliet would fight her fears, he offered me a foam. “see me se wahala, pastor wan put me for trouble oh” “Flow if u try rubbish with Juliet for nite, u don enter hot soup oh” “why me na, why me” i tot. I promised myself not to try anything funny, promise that my d*ick also promised..

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