It’s so sad that in our dear country Nigeria, few people can boast of having been kissed so good that they had butterflies in their stomach days and nights after (If you have, kindly prove it by sharing your experience in the comments section. Yea, I said PROVE.) A kiss, I said; not making out, not touching, not intimacy, just a kiss – A good ol’ lip smooch. Truth is, there are Kisses and there are kisses. Join me as we explore the world of kissing. Now, I’m not pointing fingers but it would do you well to take notes.
What is Kissing? Kissing is not s**. It is not an extension of your aroused state or imitations of your ‘style’ in the bedroom (GUYS!) except you are actually in the bedroom. It is an extended expression of love, a way to show what you feel when words fail you, to connect with the one in your sight etc. Oh, many a man have fallen by the roadside due to their failed attempts and unwillingness to change their ways.
Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present you the Dos And Don’ts of Kissing (right).
DO ask and ye shall receive. Nobody likes a Forward Femi or Feyi. If you feel the urge strongly, it is advisable that you mention your intentions. The worst way to kill a feeling and embarrass yourself is to go ahead and kiss someone whose lips are tightly shut because they’re just not having it. Ouch!
DON’T gamble on the state of your breath (mouth). You don’t assume that your breath is great. You just don’t. Test and see (No shame! Your palm before your mouth, breathe out and smell). If you’re meeting with a likely kiss partner, arm yourself with the essentials – minty chewing gum or a menthol etc. before your meet. There is no one alive who can bear the bad-breath kisser. Not for long anyways.
DO take it slow. Ooh. The kisser that takes his/her time is the one who is most likely to get laid unexpectedly (just saying). If it’s just a kiss, then, slow and steady wins the race every time except things were already hot and heavy to begin with. No one wants a sprinter – at least not on their lips!
DON’T overdo it and call it French kissing. Some people (GUYS!) don’t need lips when they’re kissing. They might as well just do away with their lips because they don’t use it anyway. All you feel is this protruding tongue everywhere – your mouth, your teeth, your face and so on. I mean, come on! You introduce your tongue; you don’t start and finish with the tongue.
DO remember that you are a higher animal. How many people have seen a couple finish kissing and they both hurriedly attempt to clean off the excess spit on their face? If you have say I – I!!! A dog slobbers you up with excess spit but a man kisses you with consideration. If you need to, retreat to (swallow your spit) then continue. The fact is; in a heated session, wet is inevitable but dripping? Now, there’s a problem!
DON’T exhibit Vampire traits. Why are your teeth constantly showing up when you’re kissing. Why are you leaving your partner with sores after your incessant biting? Are you hungry or do you seek a human meal? It’s not sexy; it’s just painful and unfair. Nibble the lips (tenderly) if you must.
DO kiss all over the face. That’s a beautiful side to kissing that everyone will adore. You take out time to kiss on every contour of their face and when you whisper soft compliments in the process, Winner! You can make it hotter by nibbling on their face (it’s been found to be very arousing). CAUTION: There should be no dripping or wetness after your ‘ministrations’.
DON’T suck or attempt to swallow anything with all thy might! Human, remember? The most disgusting of all – the ones that will open up their mouth and attempt to suck in both your lips at the same time OR the ones that will attempt to open your mouth with both lips to suck your tongue OR the ones that will suck your entire ear OR the ones that suck up the entire side of the neck all in failed attempts to arouse you. Yuck! Just don’t!
I guarantee you a successful and truly enjoyable kissing experience (filled with butterflies) if you take note and work with the aforementioned points. Yes, the word is GUARANTEE. I wish you many more beautiful kisses and I come against any bad-kissers in your life on your behalf. Can I get an Amen?
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