Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba – Episode 19

The b*ang still continued, louder this time, a big noise was heard, it was as if our gate had been brought down, soon the b*ang continued but this time closer and louder as i heard footsteps walking to the direction of Sammy’s door; which was the first door by the right. They almost distroyed Sammy’s worn out door shouting “open this down!!” without ceasing. I had concluded they were robbers as i was f*arting none stop due to fear, “go open the door na” i said to Sammy “you why u no go open am, u no wan die abi?” he said “no be ur house, na u suppose open am na” i said as i could now feel my legs fidgety. Sammy finally opened the door, and lo and behold the “men in black” came in.
“so una no wan open d door abi?” öne of them shouted “i wan open am oh, dis mumu nahim no gree me open am” i lied pointing to sammy. “ok wey una phone and una money” another one said giving me a hot slap on my head, that made my eyes spin instantly. Without thinking straight i said, “bros una welcome oh, my phone dey here oh, but i no get money, no be my room be this” “what of u?” öne of them said hiting Sammy with the bottom of his g*un. “bros him don hide him own under bed” i said before realizing the magnitute of what i just said. “i don f*uck my guy up oh” i regreted immediately. Sammy brought out his blackberry phone where he hide it under the bed. They beat him to stupor, as i saw blood coming out from his mouth. “yeeeh! make dem no kill am oh, but why i no keep my mouth shut na” i said to myself lying facing the floor. I was hearing beating from Agom’s room and Kelvin’s room too. I was thinking if i should die dat night, that is sure not the best way to die “imagine say dem write OBITUARY: he died after been beaten to stupor by robbers” “God forbid! e no fit happen” i assured myself. I heard the noises from Angom’s room even louder, “so some of dem even dey Angom and Kelvin room, dem plenty be that, but corpers no dey get money, why dem come, wen dem know say we no get money?” i asked myself a stupid question. I was still lost in my tots when one of the robbers draged me up and shouted “carry us go Mama alhaja room”.

I was draged like a “christmas goat” to Mama alhaja’s room. As Ojiga; the old woman’s stuborn teenage grandson opened the door, i saw Mama alhaja already lying on the floor pleading. Mama cried and pleaded saying “ejor oh, boda ejor oh”. My jittery boby paused in astonishment when the robbers asked “where d dollars dey?” “which dollars? Here resemble yanky?” I almost said to their hearing. I had Mama Alhaja let out a big audible f*art, “see dis woman oh, c d kin big me*ss wey she dey m*ess” i tot. After some hot slaps and beating, Ojiga went in and brought a bag, “so dis woman get dollars?” i said to myself as one of them pointed a gun at me asking “who be dis?” “i be Flow, who u be? Abi u think say i dey fear gun, u no know say i b barrack boy, and i don c g*un tayah for barrack” i cursed in my mind
“i dey come make i carry d mumu go collect phone and money for the remaining rooms wey we never enter” one of the robbers told his “colleagues” while giving me another hot tap on my head, making my eyes spin again, this time anticlockwise. Me and my “newly found friend” where out in no time as he said “who get dis room” he pointed at my room “na my own, nothing dey am, i don give una my phone na” i cried out. “who get this one?” he inquired pointing at Ilorin’s room. Just then i remembered there was a person by that name, “where Ilorin come go na, but him dey cook here that time wey we dey play chess na” i said to myself. “bros the guy wey get this room dey around, na him dey cook dis food sef” i reponded pointing to a pot of rice on the stove.

“d boy get money abi?” the robber asked with a tap on my head yet again, my eyes almost fell out from the socket. “Bros make we go for toilet side, him fit dey there” i suggested as he draged me making my boxer’s shot tear. I was almost na*ked, as we approached the toilet i shouted “Ilorin! Baba Ilorin!! where u dey?” “flow i dey here” he shouted back from inside. We opened the toilet door and the robber said “so u think say u be sharp man abi, u come hide here abi?” “i no b sharp man oh, i no well, my belle don spoil, i dey purge” Ilorin said “Haba!! Oga no mind am oh, him well oh” i said what i regreted saying………………..