It’s not easy, especially when you love him. But, if you notice that he’s not fully invested into the relationship like you are, then you need to re-evaluate what you’re doing. Men can hang around for years without feeling the need to seriously commit to you, which is fine, if that’s what you agreed upon. Marriage is something that you either want or you don’t, and though we all wish that the guy we like would want to marry us, the fact is that sometimes, he’s just not on the same page.
If you see any of these signs, it may be time to have a serious talk, or just leave for more committed pastures:
1. EVERY TIME THAT YOU ASK ABOUT HIM POPPING THE QUESTION, HE LAUGHS IT OFF OR CHANGES THE SUBJECT. This is a sign that he’s really not comfortable making a promise, simply because he’s not interested in marrying you. No matter how hard you press the issue, this guy has already made up his mind about his future, and it doesn’t involve walking down the aisle with you.
2. HE FLAT-OUT TOLD YOU HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE. When a guy says this, what he really means is that he doesn’t believe in marriage with you. This is a sign that he’s already made up his mind, and that if you decide to be with him, a wedding will never be in the picture.
3. HE WON’T EVEN CALL YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND. If you can’t get him to commit to being your actual boyfriend, what makes you think that him becoming a hubby is going to happen?
4. WHEN YOU BRING UP MARRIAGE, HE GETS DEFENSIVE, ANGRY, OR ANNOYED. This reaction means one of two things: he hates that he’s being called out on his crap, or he’s really sick and tired of hearing the marriage talk. Either way, it’s no bueno.
5. HE’S REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN HAVING YOU MEET OR HANG OUT WITH HIS FAMILY. Marriage is a merger of families, and if he’s not into the idea of marrying you, he will want to keep both families separate. This way, his family won’t get too attached to you, and vice versa.
6. HE’S BEEN ACTING LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. If he’s been getting more distant, refusing to talk about problems, and is talking about taking a break, marriage is almost certainly out of the question.
7. WHEN YOU ASK ABOUT HIS FUTURE PLANS, THEY NEVER INCLUDE YOU. The reason for this is because he doesn’t view you as part of his future. At this point, you’re a placeholder at best and about to be ditched at worst.
8. IN FACT, HE DOESN’T ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR FUTURE, EITHER. A lack of interest in your future means that he generally isn’t going to plan his life with you in mind.
9. CONFLICT IS JUST NOT HIS CUP OF TEA. In a healthy, normal relationship, people are able to talk out their problems pretty easily. If he can’t discuss his issues properly, threatens to break up with you at the drop of a hat, or if he clams up, this is a sign that he isn’t ready for marriage in the least bit. Even if he does propose, it will likely be a marriage that’s short-lived.
11. HE REALLY DOWNPLAYS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN PUBLIC/TO OTHER PEOPLE. This kind of behavior indicates that he isn’t proud to be with you, or that he’s even hiding his taken status from others. If he won’t flaunt you in public, do you really think that he’s going to walk down the aisle with you in front of everyone he knows?
13. IT’S ALWAYS EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE. He said he wanted a house. He now has a house, and you have no ring. Now, he wants a better car. Trust me when we say that he’s just layering on excuses so that you’ll stay without the commitment you need.
14. HIS VIEWS ON MARRIAGE OR WOMEN ARE DOWNRIGHT HORRIBLE. If a guy sees marriage as a death sentence, or a trap that women use to gain half of their possessions, he’ll never agree to marry you. It’s not that you’re lacking something, here — it’s that he’s a moron.
15. HE FLAT-OUT TELLS YOU THAT HIS FAMILY WON’T APPROVE, AND HE’S DOING NOTHING TO STAND UP FOR YOU. Some guys are totally whipped by their blood relatives. It’s the truth. When guys like this are asked to choose between marrying you and keeping their relatives happy, they will choose the family every time. Would you really want to be part of a family that hates you, anyway?
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