Most women want guys to flirt with them but at the same time, they don’t appreciate being approached normally at the same time. Why? Probably because a lot of guys over here don’t know the true way to flirt. For example, there’s a big difference between shouting “hey baby” or trying a dirty pickup line, and striking up a real conversation to get a girl’s attention. When you treat a woman with respect, she’ll be much more open to getting to know you better. It’s pretty easy to understand, yet somehow most guys don’t get it.
Master the art of a great smile. There’s nothing wrong with practicing your smile in the mirror if you have to. There is a subtle power that comes with a great smile and if you can get a few different smiles down, you’ll do well for yourself. There’s no one right way to do it. Your smile can be shy, confident, mysterious or any number of other styles. Find out what works for you in a given situation and use it.
You can’t win if you don’t play. Most guys have some level of shyness when it comes to approaching women. The fear of rejection is a powerful emotion, it’s important to learn to overcome it. If you approach a woman in a polite and respectful way, she will most likely not reject you out rightly. You have to build up a bit of courage and go for it.
Show interest. This is one of the most important parts of flirting, but most guys get it wrong. It’s not just about listening to a woman, you have to stay engaged. Maintain eye contact and don’t interrupt. Avoid looking away at other things, your phone or other people. Keep the focus on her and she’ll stay focused on you.
Eye contact. The best way to catch a woman’s attention and find out if she’s interested is with eye contact. Don’t stare too long and after the meeting of the eyes, it’s time to stop ogling and start talking. There’s a thin line here between smooth and creepy. To stay on the right side of that line, smile whenever your eyes meet.
Reach out to her and touch her physically. By all means, you should touch her. Obviously, this needs to be done in an appropriate and respectful way. Ask about her ring or her bracelet and touch her hand. If she is wearing nail polish, that’s a perfect opening. If you’re sitting side by side, let your legs touch but don’t rub them together. If you’re walking, try to take her arm when you’re crossing a street. If you’re in a bar or club and have to move through a crowd, take her hand and lead the way.
Learn to listen. The biggest mistake that men make when they are talking to women is talking too much or talking specifically about themselves. Show interest in her, ask questions and listen to her answers. Then ask follow-up questions. Reference the things that she said earlier to show that you were listening. This should be obvious but far too many guys just don’t get it. Don’t do more than half of the talking.
Suggestive jokes. Humor allows you to be more bold or forward than you otherwise could. Slightly suggestive jokes are great as long as they’re not creepy. It will depend on your culture as to how far you can take it, but it should be pretty mild no matter what.
Keep smiling. The smile before you approach is important, but even more so is to keep smiling once you’re talking. Nothing kills a flirting conversation faster than looking serious or bored. Stay engaged, keep it light, and smile.
Take the lead on making plans. When you’re trying to schedule a date, don’t be indecisive or ask her to decide where to go. Most women like a man who is decisive about things like this. You should always have a few bars or restaurants, or other date ideas up your sleeve and ready to use. Picking something that is different than where most other guys would take her is always a good move. But the important thing is to propose a specific place instead of just giving different options.
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