Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba – Episode 22

I was coming back from sch one hot afternoon with my guys, all five of us where arguing football at the top of our voices. “forget na Chelsea go carry this premier league” Agom, a Chelsea fan said, “abeg una dey five points below Man u, u dey say una go carry am, na for una dream abi” i said supporting my team. “we get one outstanding match na” Sammy, a Chelsea fan said. “shebi una go play us today for old Tranford, we go see how una go win us na” Ilorin, a Man u fan added as Kelvin listened keenly to our Argument bcos he wasn’t a football fan.

From football, Ilorin was telling a story of how he hussled in the streets of Ilorin; the Kwara state capital. He told us he schooled at Uni. Ilorin. He also said when he graduated from sch in 2005, he had spill-over in some courses, so instead of staying at home doing noting he opted for the job of a “motor park tout” (Agbero). He did the job for two years and was soon gaining popularity as the most dreaded Agbero, so that was how he got the name “Baba Ilorin or Ilorin for short”. “so u be Agbero before, nahim robbers come our house dat day u go hide for toilet, come dey lie say u dey purge eehn” i said “oooh, u want make i die ni” Ilorin responded and the others laughed. Just then, i tot i heard someone calling Flow!!! or was it that headache now calls one’s name out? bcos i was having a serious headache.

“see that babe dey call u oh” Agom said pointing. I turned, and lo and behold it was the Genevive Nnaji look-alike Dami. I left my guys and ran to meet her behind. I complimented her beauty, saying “Dami, where were u when Agbani Darego won Miss World? U would have given her a serious challenge”. She laughed and replied saying “Flow, where were u when Basket Mouth did Nite of a thousand laugh? U would have given him a serious challenge”. We talked as we walked slowly like “two love birds”. I asked her to pls go on a date with me the next day, she reluctantly aggreed. As i got close to the gate of my copound, i pointed at it, telling her i stay there as she told me that her house was down the street. 7pm was the time, tommorow was the day, Captain Cook was the venue of a date that would lead to so many things……………….