A WOMAN’ PRAYERS
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I’ll just beat him to death.
.
.
.
Husband: “Honey,” “I invited a friend home for supper.”
Wife: “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”
Husband: “I know all that.”
Wife: “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”
Husband: “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
.
.
.
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,
yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
“You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
You know what?”
“What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
.
.
.
”I think you’re bad luck.
.
.
.
A woman went to her doctor’s office.
She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room,
she burst out screaming and ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained.
He had her sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first doctor and demanded,
“What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old,
she has four grown children and seven grand children, and you told her she was pregnant?”
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
“Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”
.
.
.
One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food,
she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can’t buy that dog food.
We need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food, And the cashier said you can’t have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.
Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did.
She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you’re satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!
No comments:
Post a Comment